TheMaskedJew's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Forever Gamer]

This has to be a joke.

If you are indeed joking, this submission should receive a 10/10 for the most accurate parody of a depressingly nerdy Nintendo fetishist with Asperger's and a sequencer I have ever seen. If this is serious, then I think you should star doing more constructive activities with your lads. Try reading T.S. Eliot's The Wasteland. It's real fab.
You seem to be able to sing tolerably, albeit in nasal tone reminiscent of Fran Drescher with a blockage in her epiglottis. My cynical instincts, however, force me to assume that your vocals have succumbed to the horrid wiles of pitch correction software.
You seem to have a rudimentary understanding of counterpoint as evidenced by the instrumental section after the second verse in which you have *gasp* two melodies occurring at the same time.
You tend to rely too heavily on reverb to create an overtly "epic" feel to this piece. This places you squarely in the pitfalls of generic rave music. Who knows?; without the overwrought effects, this piece might sound wholly original, but alas there is also your consistent overuse of arpeggiations to mask the fact that you're playing a very simple and boring chord progression.
The chorus melody is catchy enough, so I have no complaints there.
With your "stylized" lyrics, I suppose you could be insinuating that the act of gaming is equivalent to a joyous but inevitably harmful malaise demonstrated by lines such as "sitting on my ass," but I choose to believe that they're the semi-coherent ramblings of a man who watches too much Rozen Maiden.

I must reiterate; if this is serious, you're doing music wrong.

SkyMarshall responds:

Haha jesus fucking christ man, thats the most thorough "YOU SUCK" I've heard in ages. Congratulations on that. Anyway, time to pick your review apart and defend meself or something along those lines.

*eherm*

First of all, dont make fun of gamers man :P In here, thats like yelling "ADOLF HITLER DID A GOOD THING" at a Schindler's List memorial. I dont read poems, so The Wasteland can pretty much rot in the unholy depths of Belsebubs dungeon for all I care. I'd rather read "How to kill yourself by disecting your own Penis" translated into Arabic than a poem, really. And no, gaming is part of the not so healthy life me and me lads are leading. Combined with too much drinking, the occasional peak at female genetalia (IRL SRSLY) and other nerdy activities, like working and check up on the very much nerdy NewGrounds from time to time. (I fail to see why you are here?)

Second, no I cant say Im a good singer - I just happen to sing, because - well - I just want to. And Im sorry to say I will continue to do so. The vocals in this particular song is riddled with pitch-correction on 3 words just to bend "ass" and a few others to make it fit the song more. So I guess Im pretty much on pitch. Fran Drescher? Haha yeah maybe :)

Rely on reverb you say? Well, jesus man, have you ever made electronic music? I hope you understand what a raw wave sounds like :p Also why attack my melody-skills? I could put 3 more melodies following the chords, a couple of spin-offs of the main lead and 2 or maybe 3 other backup melodies on the bass-line. But why? It didnt fit the song. If I can create 1 melody, I think I can manage to add more if I want to. And arpeggios? Dude, there's not a single arpeggio in this whole song (?). So no, I cant say I rely on arepggios to mask the simple and boring chord progression.

Nice that you enjoy the lead melody, though :)
Again, dont poke fun at us gamers. It makes me cry ... seriously :( I dont know if I make semi-coherent ramblings like Rozen Maiden, I dont know who that would be, but you might be right. But simple fun lyrics that people can sing along to and relate to tends to hit the spot more often than a long sad song about the time my girlfriend fucked me over something crazy.

Closing Arguments:
I dont know where the hate come from, I listened to your music - and frankly, you're not that good - it was mostly un-melodic noise. So why you feel you need to pick on my grasp on melody and music, when I seriously understand and perform it better than you, is beyond me.

So NO - Im not doing it wrong. And I will continue to produce in this genre. And yes, you're english vocabulary is maybe the best I've seen in here :) And thanks for the long and picky review, and 10minutes of entertainment.

(oh, sorry if I came off as an asshole here - but you were kinda dragging me down into the mud for a nice old norwegian fist-fight here - and I took the bait)

Game on ma.... sorry ... ROCK ON DUDE!